


i want a new name & a little bit of something that i ain’t got

by clockworkcheetah



Category: Call of Cthulhu (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: Backstory, Canon Compliant, Child Neglect, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkcheetah/pseuds/clockworkcheetah
Summary: Carmen contemplates her choices.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7
Collections: Dick Hardy's Investigators Office





	i want a new name & a little bit of something that i ain’t got

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written any fic in like 8 years.  
> title is from Bad Things by K. Flay

Carmen. Carmen.

She rolled the name on her tongue. She needed to get use to it after all. It's how she would introduce herself if people noticed her. Carmen hoped they don't.  
Looking at her reflection, with her freshly hacked hair, Carmen wondered if she should've done this. She looked unkempt, scruffy. Like how Mum would say to the other parents. Carmen thought she said it with affection, but she didn't use the same tone when speaking about Jesse.

However, she no longer resembled Marian. Marian wore clean dresses, ribbons and her hair was long. Carmen was in rags and her hair looked like Jesse's when he was sixteen. She had said he looked stupid. She wondered what he would think of her now.

Well. It didn't matter now.

Carmen gave herself one final look in the mirror, before she returned to her room. On her bed sat a single bag that contained her entire life now. It did not hold much. Stolen money from Dad. Stolen food from the neighbours. Stolen flowers from the garden. Mum's music box. Carmen made a mental note to tell Mum when she visited her to give her the flowers, that she only took her music box because Dad burnt all the photos.

She would need to steal some clothes. Would it be difficult? Carmen felt doubtful, but this would be her new life now, and she had done crazier before.  
Carmen glanced out the dirty window. The light was fading- it was time to go now. She grabbed her bag and crept down the stairs. It was quiet, with a lingering stench of alcohol in the hallway. A quick glance to the living room confirmed Dad had drunk himself unconscious again. Would he notice her absence? If he did, Carmen was certain he would feel blessed- no longer having to deal with her. He could choke on his vomit and die alone. Be found a few weeks later, rotting.

Carmen stood at the front door. She was trembling, her breath hitched slightly. This could be a mistake. She might end up dead in a ditch within a week. Nobody would look for her. They hadn't bothered before.

But, maybe.

Maybe it would be good. She would have adventures. Maybe meet important people. People angrier than she thought she was, kinder than she could ever want to be. Maybe they would like her. Like having her around. She could tell Mum about it, next time she visited. Maybe Mum would be a little bit proud of her.

Carmen shook herself. Reached for the door, and didn't look back.

**Author's Note:**

> not sure how well it came across but carmens mum is dead. because tragic backstory be like that


End file.
